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Rules Of Internet

Saturday, March 1, 2014 | 0 comments

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Once there was an ugly barnacle...
Salt. Pepper. Goomy is love, Goomy is life.
The internet should be for the people by the people. It should be the people that set the rules.
If you would like to add to the page, email admin for access. admin at(@) rulesoftheinternet dot com. Include a username you would like to use. _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Q. Stacy's Mom has got it going on. No exceptions.
✓. This exception has been accepted.
^. In the event that the universe becomes so immense that it will collapse in on itself, causing disruption in the time-space continuum, unraveling time from the beginning, and eventually deleting the past, present, and future, the Rules of the Internet will survive. No exceptions.
§☼#♀≈™. AnimeFuckHead = AFHfuckface. all rules about AFHfuckface also pertain to AnimeFuckHead. NO EXCEPTIONS, unless god(AFH and Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt) does not approve
Åℱℍ. You can't beat him, so you might as well join him.
Åℱℍ₂. The words AFHAFHfuckface, and AnimeFuckHead must always be in the color purple. You don't want to know what will happen if you fail to follow this rule.
0bama. There are people who don't like the president. There are people who do. Are there people who do and don't like the president?
¬. Do not Heil Hitler, unless you want to.
¬.1. I did Nazi that coming.
¬.2. I Heil'd, what happens now?
~.~ But above all else you must remember that this is the internet, and there are no rules.
18/0. Memory access violation. This rule is a virus or programmed by a retard.
ƒƒƒƒƒƒ. Forkheads and 4chan may be the last remaining places of freedom on the net. Insert exceptions here.
ƒƒƒƒƒ. ˙pɹɐʇǝɹ ɐ ǝɹɐ noʎ 'uʍop ǝpısdn sı ʇxǝʇ ɹnoʎ ɟI
ƒƒƒƒ. Uncyclopedia is never wrong, NO EXCEPTIONS, fuck it.
ƒƒƒƒ.2. On the other hand, Conservapedia is always wrong.
ƒƒƒ. None of these rules really matter, except for the ones that do.
ƒƒƒ.2. The ones that matter are 1, 2, 34, 34∞, 63, 93, 406, 899 and ∞34.
ƒƒƒ.3. Except for 34∞. It's terrible.
ƒƒƒ.4. No it isn't.
ƒƒƒ.5. Oh fuck
ƒƒ. Rule 0 is not not not not not untruthful.
ƒ. AFH is still g0d of the internet
ƒ.ƒ. Any rules that contain "ƒ" count, unless you want a brainfuck.
Þ. Attempting to get more users will result in loads of fun. No Exceptions.
ð. There's a later rule that's the same as above.
i². Welcome Back.
3i. am in need of assistance.
2i. The end is coming. We shall rule all.
i. You can't the square root of a negative integer.
-∞. No one believes the rules of the internet.
-∞+1. Rules are meant to be broken! Rules of the internet are not meant to be!
-∞+2. No one heard about the rules of the internet.
-∞+3. Refer to rule 93.
-∞+4. This rule can/will not exist.
-9001. It's under 9000. No exceptions.
-69. More than 2 69s is unacceptable. No exceptions.
-9. If no answers, Zoidberg is answer. No exceptions.
-7. Hey Zephyr! Homecoming? -Josh
-6. Rule 0 is true.
-5. Cake and justice will be served.
-4. The internet has no rules, no exceptions.
-3. If you are srs, everyone is srs. No exceptions.
-2 1/2. Never cuss any Canadians.
-1.1. Lil /b/ is my friend
-1. /b/ is not your friend. No exceptions.
e^(i*pi)+1. Complex numbers are the truth. No exceptions.
-0. Positive numbers are a lie. No exceptions.
0. Negative numbers are a lie. No exceptions.
0.0000000001. Nipples are always Sweden.
0.000000001. Percentage of even remotely clever comments in YouTube.
1/2. Everyone is masturbating with their other hand. No exceptions.
50/50. If you give a human civilization a whole, they will cut it in half. No exceptions.
.1. If you made a rule extension with .2 instead of .1 when there is no .1, you need to math better.
.1.1. /b/ is pointless, you are wasting your life. /b/ will not do anything to stop me from posting this.
0.5. ATTENTION DUELLISTS! My mullet is going to give you such a spanking.
0.91. 1f u c4n r34d d1s u r3477y h4v3 n0 71f3
0.92. The lazah fired onto another lazah causing ultimate destruction and it resulted in the creation of an exact copy of this page called Rules of the internet 2, but we edited it to make more rules.
0.93. The explosion from the ultimate destruction also brought back The original Rules of the internet.
0.94. We didn't received enough donation money to buy back the rules, so we used the money we had to create the Rules of the internet 3
0.95. Then after the Rules of the internet 3 was created we had enough left over money to buy one pineapple, but just one.
0.96. P30P13 WH0 U53 1337 5P34K 4R3 N07 1337.
0.97. VVVVVV is the best gravity game. No exceptions.
0.97.2. Because rule 0.98 called Chuck Norris, it is now dead. It should've called Theodore Roosevelt instead
0.98. This rule doesn't like you and has called Chuck Norris.
0.99. Nothing is immune to the Lazah not even the Rules of the Lazah
0.9999. When Life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
0.99995. When Life gives you limes, make Orange Juice and make Life go all like WTF MANG!
0.99996. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down! NO EXCEPTIONS!
0.99999999999999999999999. AnimeFuckHead can make whatever he wants, want a bottle of unicorn tricycle joucie?
1. Do not talk about /b/.
1.618. (Viewing this message requires 4Chan Gold)
phi. 4chan Gold is not coming, no exceptions.
2. You do NOT talk about /b/.
2.2. Remember 2nd place.
2.3. Damn it! I missed...
2.5. If anyone asks about /b/ you don't know anything.
e. Roflcopter makes you look like a n00b.
e.2. To the power of negative X over lambda.
e.e. My ROFLcopter goes soi soi soi.
3. We are Anonymous.
3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399573105.... Expect us.
abc. omegle is epic and so is tumblr
4. Anonymous is legion.
5. Anonymous does not forgive, Anonymous does not forget.
6. Anonymous can be a horrible, senseless, uncaring monster.
6.241592653589793238462643383279502888394338799146210... Didn't expect them!
7. Anonymous is still able to deliver.
8. There are no real rules about posting.
9. Always register with your local service provider.
⑨. There is a Touhou version, no exceptions.
Nein. Ideas are bulletproof.
ln 9001. Power levels tell you nothing. Rules of the Internet tell you everything.
10. If you enjoy any rival sites — DON'T.
11. All your carefully picked arguments can easily be ignored.
11.1. Anything you say, no matter how truthful or carefully picked, WILL be deemed wrong if the majority is against you.
12. Anything you say can and will be used against you.
13. Anything you say can be turned into something else. - fixed
14. Do not argue with trolls — it means that they win.
15. The harder you try, the harder you will fail.
16. If you fail in epic proportions, it may just become a winning failure.
17. Every win fails eventually.
18. Everything that can be labeled, can be hated.
19. The more you hate it, the stronger it gets.
20. Nothing is to be taken seriously.
20.2. Because nothing is a serious matter. Everything else isn't. No exceptions.
20.3. Except for rule 2719hex.
20.20 Rainbow Dash is about 20% cooler than you.
21. Original content is original only for a few seconds before getting old.
22. Copy 'n paste is made to ruin every last bit of originality.
23. Copy 'n paste is made to ruin every last bit of originality.
24. Every repost is always a repost of a repost.
25. Relation to the original topic decreases with every single post.
26. Any topic can be turned into something totally unrelated.
27. Always question a person's sexual preferences without any real reason.
28. Always question a person's gender - just in case it's really a man.
28.5. If it TRULY is a girl, then this is an INCEPTION!!! Only way out is to die, so look at Chuck Norris the wrong way.
29. On the internet, all girls are men, and all kids are undercover FBI agents or Perverted Justice Decoys.
30. There are NO girls on the internet.
30.1. Rule 30 only applies to the deep internet.
30.2. If girls are found on the deep internet, CODE RED, RED ALERT, ALL SYSTEMS BREACHED!
30.5 Vagina's are penis's in a girl's body. No Exceptions.
31. TITS or GTFO - the choice is yours.
32. You must have pictures to prove your statements.
32.5 All your pictures were obviously Photoshopped. No Exceptions.
32.6 I can tell from some of the pixels and from having seen a lot of shops in my day. /oldfag
32.7. The shadows are ALL WRONG! Definitely Photoshopped.
32i. I'm cool. See rule i.
33. Lurk moar — it's never enough.
34. There is porn of it, no exceptions.
34.2. There are ponies of it, no exceptions.
34.3. If it exists, there's an app for it.
34.4. If it exists, there is a YouTube Poop of it
34.4x2. If it exists, there is a Lego of it.
34.5. If it isn't in Minecraft, there is a crafting idea video of it.
34.6. If it exists, there is a parody of it on YouTube.
34.7. If it exists, there is a Pokemon based on it.
34.8. There is dubstep of it, no exceptions.
34.34. Everything IRL is on the internet.
34.99. There is a mario paint composer version of it.
34∞. Eventually, EVERYTHING will be porn.
35. If no porn is found of it, it will be made.
35.2. If no pony is found of it, it will be made.
35.3. If there is no app for it, it will be made.
35.4. If no poop is found, it will be pooped.
35.4x2. If there is no Lego of it, then make one.
35.5. If it is in Minecraft, the crafting idea video will be shoved into the farthest corners of YouTube.
35.6. If there is no parody of it, make one.
35.7. If there is no Pokemon based on it, there is/will be a Fakemon based on it.
35.8. If no dubstep is found of it, it will be made.
35.35. If it is not on the internet it must be by midnight.
35.99. If no mario paint composer version is found of it, it will be made.
35./b/. If nobody makes it, /b/ will.
35∞. The number of objects and situations yet to be porn-ified spontaneously decreases over time.
36. There will always be more fucked up shit than what you just saw.
36.2. If there is porn of it, keplin has watched it. No exceptions.
37. You can not divide by zero (just because the calculator says so).
37.2. Xero Chance can divide by Zero.
37.3. Pinkie Pie can divide by zero. She can break the 4th wall as canon. What can't she do?
38. No real limits of any kind apply here — not even the sky.
38.5 Don't drop that thun thun thun. No exceptions.
38.702. Rule 38.5 is false. Don't drop that Dedenne.
41. Needs moar Desu. No exceptions.
41.2. Scroll down.
41.3. ALL THE WAY.
42. Nothing is Sacred.
43. The more beautiful and pure a thing is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt it.
44. Trying to edit the rules of the Internet with Japanese characters is like trying to make “2 girls, 1 cup” acceptable in society. It only works at A-con.
45. When one sees a lion, one must get into the car.
45.5 Hi Zephyr
46. There is furry porn of it. No exceptions.
47. The pool is always closed due to AIDS (and stingrays, which also have AIDS).
48. A cat is fine too.
49. One cat leads to another.
50. Another cat leads to Zippo Cat.
51. No matter what it is, it is somebody's fetish. No exceptions.
52. It is delicious cake. You must eat it.
53. It is delicious trap. You must hit it.
53.2. The trap broke the lazah.
54. /b/ sucks today.
54.2. And today.
54.3. So does America.
54.4. AFH gets sucked every day!
55. If you have time to make up new rules, you have no life.
55.2. Except for me.
55.3. If you have no life, you do not exist. Therefore, your rule does not exist if you do not exist. No exceptions.
55.4. The rules were created by people who do not exist, so the rules do not exist. No Exceptions.
55.5. Although the rules do not exist, logic exists. The rules = logic. Therefore the rules do exist. No Exceptions.
55.5.2 Since the rules exist by logic, then the rules have always existed. No Exceptions.
55.5.3 So the creation of your rule is only a repost of science. (See rule 24)
55.6. If Rule 55 applies to you, then /b/ welcomes you.
56. They will not bring back Snacks.
57. You will never have sex.
57.2. I just had sex and it felt so good. (See rule 82)
57.3. Pr0n and Fapping Does not count as sex.
58. Desu isn't funny. Seriously guys. It's worse than Chuck Norris jokes.
58.2. Scroll down dammit.
58.4. Theodore Roosevelt jokes are better than Chuck Norris jokes.
59. No one does it like Gaston. No exceptions.
60. It needs more pumpkin. No exceptions.
60.1. What pumpkin?
60.2. It doesn't matter as long as you give him the butter.
61. It needs moar cowbell. No exceptions.
62. It has been cracked and pirated. No exceptions.
62.2. The previous rule does not apply to Pokémon X and Y.
63. For every male character there is a female version. No Exceptions.
63.2. For every female character there is a male version. No Exceptions.
63.3. For every asexual character there is a version for each sex. No Exceptions.
63.4. Rules 63, 63.2 and 63.3 does not include real people. (Too much work. No Exceptions.)
63.5. Real people are ruled unworthy.
63.6. Rules 63.4 and 63.5 are lies. Real people can and will be gender-bent. No exceptions.
64. Don't copy that floppy.
65. Anonymous is not your personal army.
66. The cake is a lie.
66.2. The lie is a cake.
66.3. The cock is a lie.
66.4. The lie is a cock.
66.5. The cake is a liar.
66.7. Iron Maiden is awesome. No exceptions.
66.8. Unless you are GLaDOS.
66.9. Maybe GLaDOS is a lie. You'll never know.
66.10. Even if GLaDOS is a lie AFH is still truth. Refer to rule 334.3 and rule 93.
67. Anonymous does not "buy", he downloads.
68. Milhouse will never be a meme. Ever. No matter what your post ends with. No exceptions. Ever. No.
68.2. However, "Milhouse is not a meme" is a meme.
68.3. It is undecided whether ' "Milhouse is not a meme" is a meme' is a meme or not.
68.4. Refer to rule 899899
68.5. Rules 68, 68.2, and 68.3 define falsity, truthiness, and ambiguity. So by definition, Milhouse is not a meme.
69.1. And on the 69th day, God said "Let there be porn," And it was good.
69.2. If your question ends with "AMIRITE?", the answer will never be yes.
70. Do not talk about the 100M GET failure.
71.∞. The internet is better than you.
72. Darth Vader is your father. No exceptions.
72.2. Except for Ash. NO ONE knows who Ash's father is. Not even his mother.
73. If there isn't enough just ask for Moar.
74. If you post it, they will cum.
75. Rule 75 is a lie. OHSHI--
76. Twinkies are the answers to life's problems.
76.1. Unfortunately, there are no more twinkies, so you're fucked.
76.2. Disregard rule 76.1, the creator was gay. Twinkies are back. They will always be back. No exceptions.
77. The internet makes you stupid.
77.7. Rule 77 is false. You are not necessarily stupid, just incomprehensible.
78. It will always need moar sauce.
79. Ceilingcat IS watching you masturbate.
80. Interwebz177 did it. No exceptions.
81. Anonymous is a virgin by default.
82. Nobody tells the truth on the Internet
83. Only clusterfucks start Edit Wars.
83.2. Only fusterclucks edit Star Wars.
83.3. AFH is already a clusterfuck and fustercluck, so it doesn't even matter. no exceptions.
83.4. Han shot first
84. All rules ARE true, including this one.
84.2. These rule, therefore, are rule 478-compliant.
85. Retarded rules are forbidden.
86. The term "sage" does not refer to the spice.
87. If you get pepperoni ever again, I swear I'll blow this joint sky-high!
87.2 But you know I only like pepperoni!
87.3. Cheese pizza is the best pizza. No exceptions.
87.4. Sorry, all I got were shrooms, but we can still get high right?
88. Anonymous rules the internet. No exceptions.
89. Bruce Lee was a hero to us all.
90. It's never lupus.
91. There is gay porn of it, no exceptions.
92. Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt is the exception to rule 91. No exceptions.
93. Go Fuck Yourself.
93.2. This is not rule 93. This is rule 93.2., and rule 93 is not here.
93.3. Rule 899 is rule 93. (This is not)
93.4. Fagicorn deleted the real rule 93. Crap to him.
93.5. AT LAST! Rule 93! It makes sense now!
94. This is rule 94. It was definitely not deleted by SOPA.
95. Anonymous did NOT, under any circumstances, tk him 2da bar?
96. If you express astonishment at someone's claim, it is most likely just a clever ruse.
97. The government, The CIA, Everything is a lie.
97.2. The NSA is out to get you, no exceptions.
98. Only Zippocat is truth.
99. All numbers are at least 100 but always OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND.
100. Faggotry will not be tolerated.
101. You are never THE BEST at anything, deal with it.
101.1. If you think you are the best at something the Dunning-Kruger Effect says Hi.
102. You are made of fail and AIDS.
103. That's no such thing as safe sex
104. The internet is for porn.
106. Rule 109 is true.
107. "That's what she said" jokes are stupid. No Exceptions
107.1. That's no she...
108.2. ABOUT HIM!!!!
108.3. OMG!!!!!!!!!!
108.4. I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
108.5. You can never get too many exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Omigod!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No Exceptions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
109. Rule 106 is false.
109.2. Rules that make your head hurt are retarded NO EXEPTIONS
110. If your statement is preceded by "HAY GUYZ", then you're doing something wrong.
110.2. HAY GUYZ, I found rule 93 ^_^
111. If you cannot understand it, it is machine code.
112. What you click isn't always what you get. Always remember rule 284.
113. Gamestop does NOT have Battletoads (or N64 games). But ask anyway.
114. Secure tripcodes are for fags.
115. If someone herd u liek Mudkipz, deny it constantly for the lulz.
115.2. I herd you liek Mudkipz. No exceptions.
116. Combo breakers are inevitable. If the combo is completed successfully, it is gay.
117. Always go out of your way to make newbies feel uncomfortable.
117.2. Master Chief makes all Covenant feel uncomfortable. Therefore, all Covenant are newbies. No exceptions.
118. Newfags must be tortured to death. No exceptions.
119. Only newfags like caturday, Bruce Lee, and Desu. Those who like any of those refer to rule 93.
120. Nobody likes you.
120.2. Except Pedobear (see also: rule 93)
121. Co$ is the sworn enemy of Anonymous. It must be stopped.
121.2. Bunnies14 is the sworn enemy of AFHfuckface. It can't be stopped.
122. There is NO God here (Except Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt, Haruhi Suzumiya, AFH, and Goomy).
122.2. Celestia is greater than Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt.
122.2.1. Celestia is not Molestia or Trollestia, those are her cousins whom she does not wish to be associated with.
122.3. Luna is greater than Celestia. (Lunar Republic FTW)
122.4. Lauren Faust is Greater Then ALL! No exceptions.
122.5. Goomy is greater than Lauren Faust.
123. 456789
124. When Anonymous is surprised, bricks must be shat.
124.2. There is an error in rule 124.
125. If you have no bricks to shit, you are made of fail and AIDS.
126. shaMTV must give Rick his award. No exceptions.
127. No NewFaggots aloud.
128. Everything you know is a lie, but all those lies are nothing. So by using the transitive property we can conclude that everything = nothing and if you add an integer (x) into the equation we can single anything out and turn it into a certain amount of nothing explained by this graph e = everything n = nothing
  |          _ 
  |      ___/ \ 
e | ____/      \ 
  |/            \ 
As you can see, at a certain point of everything, nothing cannot exist. So in conclusion, I have no idea what I'm talking about. See Rule 93.
128.2. Math is hard. See above if you think of any exceptions.
129. BOTS will be dismantled.
130. Deep Internet = Very Scary
131. Whatever it is, pie is involved in some form. No exceptions.
132. If it can't be killed, it doesn't exist. (Except Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt) No other exceptions.
133. If you met your girlfriend/boyfriend online then you are dating a one armed lady hooker named Steve.(Unless there is webcam involved, then his name is John.)
133.5. If you edit rule 133 AFHfuckface will tentacle rape you. no exceptions.
133.141592654. AFHfuckface owns all chainsaws.
134. If it talks, you must shut it up.
135. Myspace is for thirteen year old girls and people who fit the description of Rule # 133.
135.1. But I thought there were no girls on the Internet!
135.2. MySpace was, is, and will never be part of the Internet. No exceptions.
136. _uck _ou_self __ solve it.
137. Tuck yourself in. Is the answer.
138. Rule 139 does/will not exist.
The Lazah hit it, so It's gone now.
140. XKCD can explain everything. explain it or it goes.
141. Godmodding is retarded. Seriously just accept your death.
142. Just ignore him he will think you're afk.
143. If you ignore her, she will bitch.
144. People can't understand sarcasm.
144.2. As if people could understand it!
145. If you take it seriously gtfo.
146. Stop giving the mic a blowjob.
147. Regardless, if you get pissed on teamspeak there is someone that has muted themselves just so they can laugh at you.
148. You don't get any cookies. No exceptions. So don't even ask.
148.1. 🍪
149. Brandon is God's son, making him Jesus. Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt has no son.
150. You are not going to get a handicap so don't even ask. They will just target you.
151. You will not get a free Xbox 360/Playstation 3/iPhone so don't even get your hopes up.
151.1. There are always more Pokemon. Always.
151.2. You won a brand new iPad. No exceptions.
152. They didn't call you retarded but they were thinking it.
153. It's funny to pick on people's grammar no matter how good it is. No exceptions.
154. The louder you scream at people the harder someone else will laugh.
154.5. In addition, my dick gets harder too
155. They don't have hacks, you just suck really bad.
156. If you want to know who Anonymous is then GTFO!
157. Someone already did it better. No exceptions.
157.5. It was ME!
157.5.5. Rule 157.5 is Japanese.
158. It was in an episode of South Park. No exceptions.
159. The more you deny something the more they are going to say that you are "something".
160. Google ftw. No exceptions.
160.1. I Googled ftw, now what?
160.2. Lmgtfy ftw. No exceptions.
161. The guy next to you in the library is always looking at what you are saying.
162. The girl next to you in the library couldn't give a shit.
163. There's a reason- you know what? Fuck it. If you can't figure it out, you seriously need to LURK MOAR.
164. Refer to step 2 on Rule #165.
165. Refer to step 3 on Rule #93.
166. People who get depressed on the internet need a better use of time.
167. Fleshlights are the answers to life's problems. No exceptions.
168. If you pretend that you are drunk people will just think you're retarded because no one can act drunk on the internet.
169? Nah I'll have 2 69s.
170. None of us is as cruel as all of us.
171. At any given moment, more birds could join, leave, or peel off in another direction entirely.
172. Use inside jokes moar. It upsets users.
173. STFU! Before i go chris brown on you!
174. Only 4chan'rs unsuspecting victims hate Rick Astley.
175. The talk page is for spam. Don't go there.
176. Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt roundhouse kicks children with the last name of Edgerton.
177. Tropicana tastes like the rainbow. No exceptions
177.2. Rainbow Dash tastes like a rainbow. No exceptions.
177.3. The rainbow is made out of skittles
177.5. Too bad nyan cat shit the rainbow.
       .,__,.........,__,....... ______
       `·.,¸,.·*¯`·.,¸,.·*¯<|::::::( o   o)
178. Shadow sticks are fun to play with in the dark. Unless there are more than 3.
179. Refer to all unwritten rules. No exceptions.
180. For every life the internet improves it destroys 10 others.
181. Anything that's good is a virus.
182. We better start helping the earth, otherwise Al Gore will take back the internets!!! NO MORE BROADBAND! NO DIALUP!
182.696969. Broadband and Dialup is the worst possible this in the universe that can happen to you. Only one excpetion, you piss off Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt.
183. If i have 3 cakes and you have one cake, only here you have no cake and I have 3 ps3's.
184. The only potty training videos allowed are ones that feature tigers and are japanese in nature (english subtitles are acceptable)
184.2. The only fundies allowed are those that don't exist.
185. The Internet and Golf are quite similar they both were invented for men to get away from woman, except the internet has porn.
186. Newfags must be shot in the balls on sight. No exceptions.
187. Killing a guy is morally okay, no exceptions.
188. If none of these rules are followed/obliged to then Bruce Lee will donkey punch you to Uranus.
189. Bukkake is not cool. Never was. Never will be. EVER!!
189.5. This has been proven false.
190. The only good hentai is yuri, that's how the internet works.
191. You will always forget to add an attachment to your e-mails.
192. If you break rule 1 and 2. You will be rickroll'd in hell.
193. If you break rule 188. You will be spanked by Barack Obama.
194. If you break rule 2, Barack Obama will tickle your pubes.
194.2. If you break rule 899 or 899.2, Barack Obama will reveal his colossal dick and choke you to death with it.
195. People called Fred are just Fail. No Exceptions.
195.2. Fred Phelps is never going to be an exception to the previous rule.
196. People named Tyler are just win. No Exceptions.
197. People named Matty are just sexy. No and I mean no Exceptions.
197.2. People named AFH are not mentally disturbed. No and I mean no exceptions.
197.3. If his Initials are AFH, he is god of teh internetz. No and I mean no Exceptions.
198. If it's not on Google, It does not exist. No Exceptions.
199. If it's not on Google, then you're searching with the wrong criteria, no exceptions
199.1. If SafeSearch is on, you are a fucking faggot, no exceptions.
200. Pictures or it didn't happen.
627. This rule forgot its spot.
201. Maths in failing:
Win + Fail = Epicfail Fail + Fail = Win Win + Win = Fail Epicfail + Epicfail = Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt
202. Anontalk is a bunch of fags. No exceptions.
203. If you run out of cookies, give apples, If you run out of apples, Give Spam. No exceptions.
204. NEVER shoot anybody in the balls. No exceptions.
205. All Americans are fat. No exceptions.
206. Any breaking of pi will result in pi being broken. No one knows the consequences. You have been warned.
207. Rules 1 and 2 are false. From now on, all rules must be about /b/. Unless they aren't.
208. Rules 1, 2 and 206 are true.
209. See rule 208.
210. See rule 209.
211. srt8 must not marry MITB. No exceptions.
212. 4chan is funny. No exceptions.
213. Your mother is behind you. No exceptions, unless she isn't.
214. In case of an emergency, your emergency exit can be found in the top right corner of your screen. No, and i promise you, NO exceptions.
214.2. Except on a Mac. It's on the left.
214.3. Press Alt+F4 for an epic thing to happen.
215. Rule 213 is false. Do not click that button.
216. 3, is the magic number.... 3, is the magic number.... NO EXCEPTIONS!
216.1. 1 is the loneliest number.
216.2. 42
216.3. 3 is the short version of π (Also see rule 328)
216.4. Fibonacci.
216.5. Catalan.
217. Creator of 4chan is mentally Disturbed. No exceptions.
217.5. /b/ will only be referred to as /b/ outside of /b/. Please refer to rules 1 and 2. No exceptions.
218. Porn must only be looked at when porn is needed.
218.1. Unless you're on Tumblr, then porn will show up when you least need it, like in class when that hot girl is looking over your shoulder.
219. Google is not a calculator.
220. Longcat is LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG. No exceptions.
221. RETARDED NEWFAGS, should always be shot without warning NO EXCEPTIONS!
222. The game.
222.2. The game ended, wait a while before we start the next wave.
222.3. The second wave is started.
222.4. The trolls are swarming. You should probably just fold.
222.5. V3A3X and Goomy can't loose the game, no matter the circumstances. No exceptions.
222.6. They draw against each other. So that way, they can't lose. PARADOX AVERTED!
223. Only faggots add rules that don't go along with rule 93 no exceptions.
224. All rules above "PROFIT!₁" don't count. No Exceptions.
224.2. All rules below "PROFIT!₂" don't count. No Exceptions.
224.3. All rules below "PROFIT!₃" count. No Exceptions.
225. The Simpsons already did it. South Park already did it better. NO EXCEPTIONS
226. If a statement may be taken sexually in any way, then she already said it. No exceptions.
227. Asking Alexandria is the worst band in the world. No exceptions
228. None of these rules apply to this wiki. No exceptions.
228.2. Except the ones about newfags editing the rules
229. You never see the porn first, even if you made or drew it. No exceptions.
230. Hentai is you friend. No exceptions.
230.3. Go watch boku no pico. I dare you.
231. Except if it is on /d/. No exceptions.
232. You cannot control the person in charge. No exceptions.
233. The person in charge only wants to make your life miserable. No exceptions.
233.2. AFHfuckface is the person in charge... FUCKFACE!!!
234.3. AFHfuckface always wins, Even when he fails, he wins. NO EXCEPTIONS.
234.4. If any one that is of the female verity says They always win to him, they must date him. NO EXCEPTIONS!
234. Rule 186 is the only exception to rule 204
235A. Edit the Rules.
235B. Lean back and wait.
235C. ???
235D. PROFIT!₁
236. There is no more than 1 rule for 1 number. 234 is the only exception, all others can refer to rule 93.
236.1. No.
236.2. There are 2 rule e's and 2 rule i's and 2 rule k's.
237. There will be placeholders. No exceptions.
238. Every night when you are sleeping, Interwebz177 gives you pills that give you a boner then he sucks you dry.
239. That naked picture you took whilst drunk has never been removed from the internet, and will remain on a 50yr old man's hard drive for as long as he lives.
240. Rule 301 is false, it is occasionally Alex.
241. Everything fun on the internet is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
242. This is the internet, honesty is not an option. See rule 899 or rule 93 for details.
242.2. Everybody lies on the Internet. Rule 242 is a lie too. No exceptions.
242.3. Nothing will ever, in the history of the world, damage music more than Rebecca Black did.
242.4. It is not Friday. The Friday after Thanksgiving and Friday the 13th are the only exceptions ever.
243. TNA sucks, WWE rocks.
244. WWE sucks, TNA rocks.
245. Your all both fags ROH is better than anything.
246. Pro Wrestling is gay. No exceptions.
246.2. Also, it is SERIOUS BUSINESS. No exceptions.
247. King Kong's penis was 13" long. Which isn't that long for a 50' gorilla.
247.2. The above is not a rule.
248. There has been a flame war of it. No exceptions.
248.2. Rule 248 is false because of rule 375.
249. Euskal hizkuntza dela begiratuko du lelo bat bezala.
249.2. Google Translate is shit.
250. Additional Pylons are required. Always.
251. No one uses anything but Google. No exceptions.
252. Rule 52 is a lie. Thank you.
252.1. So is the cake
253. Yes, it is some chickens.
254. Steve Irwin's death is really, really funny.
255. Anonymous is an Internet Hate Machine. Wikipedia said so.
255.2. Wikipedia is never wrong. Your teachers were.
256. For every curse word, there is a town with that name. No exceptions.
257. CP is awwwright, but DSFARGEG will get you b&.
258. ASDFMOVIE is god. No exception.
259. Hal Turner definitely needs to gb2/hell/.
260. No matter how cute it is, it probably skullfucked your mother last night.
261. Bobba bobba is bobba.
262. Yes, it is still some chickens.
263. Disregard Bigmike, he sucks cocks.
264. Spengbab Sqarpaint is luv Padtwick Zhstar iz fwend.
265. Anonymous still owes Hal Turner one trillion U.S. dollars.
266. Pokémon yuri is awesome, especially Elesa/Skyla.
267. Why are so many rules not written yet?
0x10c. This game will be epic, but not as good as the best game of all time evar on the internets... - Minecraft.
269. Yeah, finally...2 69's!
269.1. To 69 or not to 69? Did she take a shower? That is the question.
270. If you do not believe it, then it must be habeebed for great justice.
271. 299 is a lie. This is sparta. No exceptions.
272. This is the end of the world, no exceptions.
273. 301 is a lie. The end is the beginning. No exceptions.
274. Not even Spider-Man knows how to shoot web.
275. By extension to rule 301, it is never a job offer.
276. One does not simply shoop da whoop into Mordor.
277. Newfags will rape you so hard that Micheal Jackson will feel it in hell. No exceptions.
278. If a song gets famous, there will be a slowed-down acoustic cover by a female singer-songwriter.
279. Mitchell Henderson was an hero to us all.
280. This is a showdown, a throwdown, hell no I can't slow down, it's gonna go.
281. I am copying directly from the UrbanDictionary definition of the Rules of the Internet.
282. If you express astonishment at someone's claim, it is most likely just a clever ruse.
283. That's not mud.
284. What has been seen cannot be unseen. Even the post clearance that's coming up.
285. 5pam
286. 5pam
287. 5pam
288. 5pam
288.2. 4pam
288.3. 3pam
288.4. 2pam
288.5. 1pam
288.6. Liftoffpam
289. Shit sucks and will never be stickied.
290. UrbanDictionary's entry is out of date.
291. 5pam 5ome MOAR
292. There are no real rules about moderation — enjoy your ban.
293. There should be a hand in it somehow.
293.2. See 108.
294. Everything has been searched on the internet.
295. Box dividers are gay.
296. Twitter is pointless.
297. GentleMentleMen will never retain its original audio.
298. Any BEATMANIA song will be made into a meme.
299. This is madness. No exceptions.
300. No, This Is SPARTA!
301. No, this is Patrick.
301.2. Yes, this is Dog.
302. Food has been made from any part from any animal. No exceptions.
303. If they exist, they have been shipped. No Exceptions.
304. Buy the extended warranty. No exceptions.
305. Fuck backups.
306. Even one positive comment on Japanese things makes you a weeaboo.
307. Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt is an exception to rule 63, no exceptions.
308. Always bring your towel, no exceptions.
309. Anal Cunt are the best band in the world. No Exceptions.
310. !?!?!?
311. A crossover, even an improbable one, will eventually happen in fanart, fanfic, or official release material. No exceptions.
312. Dubstep does not exist except Skrillex. No exceptions except rule 312.1.
312.1. Actually, Muse made a pretty good dubstep. No exceptions.
312.2. But until they make moar, (in terms of amount of dubstep), Normal music < Home music < Muse < Dubstep < Pure Dubstep.
312.21. As soon as Muse makes moar dubstep, replace the word "Muse" on that scale with "the old Muse".
312.3. Pure Dubstep can kill. It's the most amazing dubstep that can exist.
312.4. The only exception to that is Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt, who has heard better dubstep than Pure Dubstep.
312.5. All sub-rules under rule 312 are pointless and stupid and no one cares about them and they can be disregarded. Including this one. OHSHI--
313. Mastication is not what you think.
313.2. Unless it's in the fanfic My Immortal.
314. The day that pi finally ends is the day that the world will end. No exceptions.
315. Blockatiel is out to get you. No Exceptions.
315.2. Internet Rapists are out to get you. No Exceptions.
316. Your parents know where you keep your porn, no exceptions. Keeping it on a flash drive doesn't help.
316.2. Your parents don't know how to use a computer unless they are a technician, keeping it on a flash drive does help. No Exceptions.
316.3. If they are technicians, be afraid. Be very afraid.
316.4. Unless you are a technician, then you should be smart enough to password protect it.
317. Anonymous is not sorry.
318. Standing safely behind Rule 319.
319. This rule is transparent.
319.2. Rule 318 just shat itself.
320. There is no such thing as a lazah. OHSHI--
320.3. If your wondering where Rule 320.2 went, The Lazah sent off too much radiation and it landed right above me. No exceptions.
321. Rule 183 is a lie; The cake is also true.
322. Rule 321 is a lie; The cake is a pie.
323. Rule 322 is true, although Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt already ate the cake.
323.1. Rule 323 is not true when Rule 322 applies.
323.2. Refer to rule 84.
324. The placement of rule 333 was shit. No exceptions.
325. If you download but don't seed, Bruce Lee will rip your scrotum off.
326. There IS a torrent for it... you just aren't looking hard enough... Unless there isn't.
327: Kill it with fire!
328. There is an exception to all exceptions. No exceptions
329. I killed your mother.
330. Just kidding i did fuck her though.
330.2. LOL did i mention she likes oral?
330.3. She's never been to Kazakhstan though!
331. G.I.R.L = Guy In Real Life... No Exceptions.
332. If it exists, someone is offended by it, no exceptions.
334.1 Attempting to make your spoon smaller will result in a one prong fork, therefore you're doomed, DOOOOOOMED!!!
334.2. The Truth is ...there is no Spoon.
335. Pokemon is serious bloody business, NO EXCEPTIONS, no exceptions.
335.2. Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt doesn't play Pokemon, he lives it.
335.69. Hentai is serious bloody business, NO EXCEPTIONS, no exceptions.
336. There is not enough facepalms for this, introduced; The Facedesk. NO Exceptions.
337. Girls Can't Drive....Even on Video Games No Exceptions.
338. Big Brother is Always Watching You O_O Including weegee, anonymous, and GLaDOS. No exceptions.
339. Except when he's not.
340. Admins always suck more then Mods. No Exceptions.
340.2. If there are no Mods, hacking will ensue.
340.3. Mods can't spell. Admins can't use grammar. Anon rules.
341. Lobbywhores always get banned for Stupidity.
342. Two's company, three's a crowd. Also, nothing is more awesome than Crawdaunt.
343. Anonymous will update the rules every sunday night, no exceptions.
343.2. Lies. Anonymous hardly updates these rules.
344. Anonymous keeps a copy of the unedited rules on his hard drive, along with all of your porn.
345. Perl will NEVER be the best language, no exceptions
346. Attempting to post anything on the internet which defines the rules of the internet will result in an UserIsAnNoobException.
347. Some rules just dont make sense... follow them anyways. No Exceptions
348. You and me could write a rad bromance.
349. One just does not "make a meme". No exceptions
350. Walk don't run.
351. Limit Yourself.
352. Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
353. Bad artists copy. Good artists steal.
354. Many people think that the Internet is a complex series of tubes, some people think its made of cats and some think it's magic. BUT really the Internet was excreted from Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt's ass, therefore it is the image of perfection. NO EXEPTIONS.
355. For every object, existing or imagined, there is a variant involving bacon.
356. No one knows what love is. No exceptions.
356.2. Goomy is love, Goomy is life.
357. .snoitpecxe oN .ysae si klat drawkcaB
358. There is an exception, no exceptions.
359. Cock goes in here.
360. Anything that seems good from all angles is a conspiracy
2pi. Anything that seems like a conspiracy from all angles is completely innocuous.
361. Politicians are a lie
362. No one is married. No exceptions.
363. All furries are 35-year-old virgins. No exceptions.
364. The Simpsons stopped being funny in 1998. No exceptions.
365. No one cares whether it is a leap year or not, no exceptions.
366. Asians are the rulers of the universe, no exceptions.
367. Everyone's copyright will be broken. No exceptions.
368. The rules are ever-changing, no exceptions.
369. Whoa, this gets better and better.
370. A piece of porn has been made of every situation by following it with the words "They fuck". No exceptions.
371. Football is stupid. No exceptions.
372. The other kind of football is stupid. No exceptions.
373. Baseball is for faggots. No exceptions.
374. Australian Rules football is stupid. No exceptions.
375. This rule almost started a flame war.
375.2. Coldplay are not gay. No exceptions, except for the exceptions.
376. There is a forum of it, no exceptions.
377. Everything is fake and gay. No exceptions.
378. Someone thinks it is awesome. No exceptions.
379. If a girl on the Internet actually shows their tits after being asked about rule 31, that's someone you want to establish a positive relationship with.
380. Everyone is a pedophile. No exceptions.
381. No one actually owned Action 52. No exceptions.
382. Lolicons are morally okay. No exceptions.
383. Honeybadger does not, and will not give a shit. No exceptions.
384. There is no such thing as notability.
385. TVTropes ruined my life, and it will ruin yours too. No exceptions.
386. Hoenn was the best region, and there is no argument about it.
387. Weed is morally okay. No exceptions.
388. Parental Controls are made by Nazis. No exceptions.
389. Terrorists want to destroy it. No exceptions.
390. Christians want it banned. No exceptions.
390.2. Fundies say the darndest things. No exceptions.
391. Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt has roundhouse kicked it. No exceptions.
392 inches. The length of my dick.
392.1. The guy below me is a faggot. No exceptions.
393. The guy above me is a faggot. No exceptions.
394. Reputation systems are too easily abused to mean anything.
395. Rule 394 is gotten to.
396. Rule 899 has been applied to rule 395.
397. Rules can argue with each other, no exceptions.
398. The above rule is a cripple. No exceptions.
399. Ear sex is even gayer than gay anal sex. No exceptions.
400. This is not rule 400.
401. However, this is rule 401.
402. Who's on first base. No exceptions.
%. Who needs numbers when you can have symbols?
403. Sub Rules are forbidden.
403.2. And we mean it this time.
403.2.2. Really.
403.2.2.2. Really really.
404. This rule was not found.
HTTP 404. The rule you were looking for was not found.
405. Rule 404 WAS found, but then was lost.
406. The number of Facebook friends is inversely proportional to the number of real friends. No exceptions.
406.2. Also, add me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
407. If you say Candlejack, you w
408. If it hadn't been for Cotton Eyed Joe, Anonymous would have been married a long time ago.
409. No one has ever traded a Cofagrigus, no exceptions.
410. Uruguay = U R GAY. No exceptions.
411. Most of these rules are retarded.
411.2 That includes Rule 411.
412. I'm a teapot.
413. Add me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
414. Every rule can be proven by another rule.
415. You look like a 12 year old, no exceptions.
415.2. I am 12 and what is this rule?
415.3. It's a pickle.
416. This rule contains Pingas, no exceptions.
416.2. Rule 416 refers to rule 511.
417. It got charted for Guitar Hero, no exceptions.
418. This rule was moved for juxtaposition purposes.
419. Falcon PUUUNCH!
420. Georgia is in Russia. Also, even though this is rule number 420, no marijuana is implied.
420.2. Everything has been legalised in Colorado. No exceptions.
421. There are NO intelligent comments on music videos. No exceptions.
422. Any music or bands you like will happen to have a completely retarded fanbase. No exceptions.
423. All obvious statements shall require a smart ass remark. No exceptions.
424. Step 3 must always be followed by step 4. ?????? and step 5. PROFIT
425. All your base are belong to us. No exceptions.
426. This is never real life. No exceptions.
427. The rules cannot be broken without the Biggoron sword. No exceptions.
428. Never, ever assume anything over the Internet. Even if you're right, you will still be deemed a raging homosexual who likes it in the ear.
429. All Gingers have Magic Powers. No Exceptions.
430. It was written by a five year old, no exceptions.
431. Letter is to be writing by person of foreign linguistic, lack of disagreement.
432. Everyone must make a wish when 1234 appears in life. No exceptions.
433. Copy 'n paste is made to ruin every last bit of originality.
434. Google it first or STFU.
435. If it exists, there's bondage artwork of it.
435.1. If no bondage artwork is found of it, it will be made.
435.2. If no female is found in it, than Rule 435.1 is 90% null.
436. If it exists, there's commissioned artwork of it.
436.1 If no commission is found of it, it will be made.
437. If it exists, there's at least one type of fetish used in it.
438. If there is a classic/retro video game, there's at least one ROM of it.
439. /b/ ruins srs relationships.
440. lolcats does not cure depression
441. Bigger hardware does not mean better Interwebz
442. lmk if any make it. Cheers
443. Many are called, few are chosen. You've got to be aware of wolves in sheep clothing.
444. Passwords on are not working. No exceptions.
445. If it can't be pirated it doesn't exist, No exceptions.
446. Every rule has an exception NO EXCEPTIONS.
447. School firewalls are funded by baby torture and engineered by nazis.
448. If you add voice chat, there will be ten year olds.
449. Trolling is fun, especially without moderation.
450. You suck at trolling, no exception.
451. You aren't misunderstood, you're just not funny.
452. Every application requires another application to be applied.
452.7. This applies to each of those further applications, too.
453. The internet will be misunderstood by parents, no exceptions.
454. Santa Claus is real, but instead of coal he gives bots, and instead of presents he gives OP.
455. Only ninjas use S and D.
456. Get a life.
456.1. Okay, I got one, now what?
457. 4chan has more than 4channels.
458. Game designing and loophole finding are the only forms of hard work that actually pay off.
459. Help! Spam is eating me ali—spamspamspam
460. Spamspamspamspamspamspamspa— pew pew! All gone.
461. When duty calls, You flush the toilet.
462. Never use a phone when your computer is next to you.
462.1. ThEn WhAt CaN i UsE iF i CaN'T uSe My PhOnE?
463. Every word in the dictionary actually means trolling.
464. If you don't play OoT, play Cod. If you play Cod, play TF2 instead.
465. Rule 464 will come into effect on your next turn.
466. Modok will devour your soul. No exceptions.
467. Dora is a pretty good show.
468. / is better than \ because no one uses \.
469. Awesome.
470. There is a lack of chese in every forum. They must be destroyed.
471. DOS is missed.
472. If it flies, it's admin.
472.2. If it says it's admin, it's haxor.
473. Someone has remade it using TF2 clips, no exceptions.
474. Ellen DeGeneres has not lost weight with this new diet.
475. Pornhub makes your dick bigger.
476. The following, by their mere existence, can add awesomeness: sharks, tanks, eagles, explosions, Jessica Alba, chokeslams, prog rock, and citation of Rule 899.
477. Determinesca was totally sober. No exceptions.
478. No matter what you do, you can never find a contradiction in the Rules of the Internet. No exceptions.
479. Even where it says "Rule x is false." No exceptions.
480. Nyoro~n.
481. You will not notice that your Internets Delivery Apparatus is just a machine until you really think about it.
482. This rule means nothing.
483. Go on the Internet long enough, and no one will understand anything you say.
484. The only exceptions to Rule 483 are plebs who don't do Internet properly.
485. Internet use should be a competitive sport. No exceptions.
485.2. If it's in the Olympics, more people will play it. No exceptions, but ESPECIALLY not the Internet.
486. Do not confuse Internet with Erdenet.
486.2. Or Dedenne.
487. No one can pronounce Nagy Imre or Wojciech Szczęsny. No exceptions.
488. Andrew W.K. is the partiest. No Exceptions.
489. Four ate e9. No x epshunz.
490. Wat is this.
[__] <— Is that a rectangle, or a box?
490.2. Newfags can't rectangle, or box, or asshole.
491. The following is red or blue.
493. The one true religion is Arceism.
494. All space stations are space station 2. No exceptions.
495. Rule 93 * Rule 5. No exceptions.
496. Rule math is possible. What's Rule 69 + Rule 34?
497. Nice boat.
497.2. Stunning maritime transportation mechanism, old bean.
498. Conspiracy theorists were simply set up to discredit the actual disinformation conspiracy. NO exceptions.
499. Have we reached 500 rules yet?
500. No Items, Foxes only, Final Destination. No exceptions.
501. There is a fat version, no exceptions.
502. Bad Gateway. No exceptions.
503. Service Unavailable. No exceptions.
504. No one likes Scrappy. No exceptions.
505. Here's a template: _____ > _____ only when _____ is _____.
506. Your shitty rules > everything else only when the viewer is drunk and/or 5.
507. I agree with rule 506. You do, too.
507.2. Are they really that bad?
507.3. Yes.
507.4. Never mind.
508. Bronies will eventually invade and/or corrupt everything you hold dear. No exceptions.
509. Fred Phelps going to Comic Con was a BAD idea. For him, that is.
510. When you mention Sonic's TV show, someone will either say "PINGAS" or "That's NO good." No exceptions.
511. Pingas.
512. If you have even the slightest sense of reality, you WILL get banned on CONservapedia, Rapture Ready, and Free Republic. No exceptions.
513. There isn't much time, but there is always all of it.
514. Your neighbours are using your internet exorbitantly. No exceptions.
515. What is this I don't even. No exceptions.
516. One link to TV Tropes will eat up your whole day. No exceptions.
517. Mega Man megaevolves into MegaMegaMegaMan. No megaexceptions.
518. Even if you imagine something that can cross the border from imagination into real life, it won't become real. So stop trying.
519. You have tried the above, no exceptions.
520. Time Cube is mind-bendingly funny.
521. You are educated stupid, no exceptions.
522. You can't inherit the internet. Only Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt can.
523. The existence of God has been proven by a formula. Look it up.
523.2. I looked “it” up. Now what?
524. Chuck Norris jokes are old, but use them anyway. No exceptions.
524.2. Rule 524 is false. Use Theodore Roosevelt jokes instead.
525. You have heard of Pokemon, no exceptions.
526. If you have not heard of Pokemon, look it up.
527. The internet is not your personal blog. Your personal blog is your personal blog. It is on the internet, though.
528. Say "n00b t00b," and you will be deemed a n00b yourself. No exceptions.
529. Newfags can't triforce.
530. If a newfag can triforce, the internet eats itself.
531. Nobody cares about what Apostolate just said. No exceptions.
532. B3C4U53 CH1P5. If a question cannot be answered with reason, the answer will always be 'Because Chips'
533. Anything that is too good to be true is a virus. Anything that isn't is also a virus.
534. If a rule has no exceptions, there is always an exception. No exceptions. WAIT. AAAAAAAAAA-
534.refined. There are exceptions. No exceptions.
535. "No exceptions" has a different meaning here and IRL.
536. Selfies are for noobs. No exceptions.
537. Photobombers are the heroes of the internet. No exceptions.
538. combo breaker i am the combo breaker. the combo breaker is the law and the law is the law so who say you? combo breaker or combo breaker? combo breaker combo! breaker! combo breaker! so its now or never!
539. Matt has a girlfriend. No Exceptions
540. Anyone with the name Elma is win. No Exceptions.
541. Skaps Loves Alana <3. No Exceptions.
542. Mandy loves Nate <3. No Exceptions
543. Anyone that has the name Trevor or Shukin can go rule 93. No Exceptions.
544. Anonymous owns a horse by default.
545. The lazah is broken right now. If you can fix it, you are legion.
546. Turbo broke this rule by getting Captain Spruce (a girl) to respond to a request for rule 32 to be enforced, thereby changing the universe forever and revealing that at least one girl does exist somewhere on the Internet. However, this subject is still wrapped up in heavy debate and widely disputed by scientists in The CIA and the government (see rule 97). Regardless, turbo won, thereby negating ganzgoober's ability to always win. No exceptions.
547. AFHfuckface rules the internet, he also has an army of sex slaves whom he rapes every saturday night. To explain this it'll be shown in this graph where S = The amount of slaves he has and R = The number of slaves he has raped.
 |                     /
 |                    /
 |                 /\/
 |                /
 |               /
 |              /
 |             /                 
 |            /                 
 |           /                
 |          /                       
S | /
 |      /\/                     
 |     /                                
 |    /                               
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If your wondering why it goes down in the middle of the graph it's because he kicked two slaves out.
548. Rule 205 is false, Germans are the fattest.
549. Living in New Jersey is not wrong. Being proud of it is.
550. Anything goes with Numa Numa. ANYTHING.
551. Licking a cat does not mean you licked a vagina. No exceptions
552. AutoCorrect is always correct. No Exceptions.
554. Rules 553 and 560 tried to defeat the Lazah, but got dazed with radiation and now can only see Ninja Unicorns, no exceptions.
555. No one expects anything. No exceptions.
555.5. ESPECIALLY not the Spanish Inquisition.
556. Jaba is a fish. No exeptions.
557. Creepers must do the creeper at all times or they will blow up. No exeptions.
558. Gordon Freeman saved the world. Obey him as your savior.
559. The butler did it. no exceptions.
561. If for some reason it appears the butler did not do it, refer to rule 559.
562. Rule 559 is always correct.
563. Everybody hates Justin Bieber. No exceptions.
564. If you don't hate Justin Bieber, you are not included in "everybody." Which means you are a nobody.
565. Don't be fooled, it was the Loch Ness monster.
566. Any instance of randomness purely for the sake of humor was only funny the first time it was used in any given moment. No exceptions.
567. If you feel strongly about it, no one cares.
568. No matter how many people hate Call of Duty, the next one will always outsell Battlefield.
569. AKA an orgy.
570. Ummmm...
571. There is porn of every celebrity, no exceptions.
571.2. Except for...oh wait, never mind.
572. If you prefer one gaming console over another, fanboys will attack you. No exceptions.
573. If everyone loves it, someone hates it.
574. If the Youtube video sparks debate, the commenter is never a marine/pilot/veteran/victim/multi-millionaire/relative of the uploader/relative of anyone in the video.
575. catch (IOException e) {System.out.print("YOU SUCK");}
576. Newfags can't use Java.
577. Whatcha talkin bout Willis!?
578. Oyu vaeh dlesaxai.
579. You're screwed.
580. Namefags are fags, no exceptions.
581. The trolls will NEVER be gone. No exceptions.
582. Today is Friday. There are 6 exceptions.
583. Today is Caturday. There are no exceptions.
584. Never correct a bro who is trying to help you. No exceptions.
585. Soo... whatcha doin?
586. The world will end by Meteor Storm.
588. This rule could not live up to it's expectations.
589. Got a minute?
590. me smokum peace pipe
591. ERROR 232
592. Tau is twice as badass as Pi
593. Snitches are entitled to stitches.
594. You've never heard them. Trust me!
595. Awesome face will always be awesome. no exceptions
596. F*ck yo couch!
597. Do it for the lulz.
598. Anyone can censor a cartoon. No exceptions.
599. Anyone can uncensor a censored cartoon. No exceptions.
600. No one speaks Basque. No exceptions.
600.2. Or Telugu. No exceptions.
600.3. Or Wolof. No exceptions.
601. There is life out there.
602. Is it can be hugs tiem now plees?
603. If the sequel was not planned when the original movie was made, it will be worse than the original. No exceptions.
603.2. If the first movie sucked, the sequel sucks worse. No exceptions.
604. Eny1 ho telks laik dolan es gey. Nio expecshins.
605. This is what your text will look like. Neat, huh?
606. No matter how hard you try, you will never be as cool as ninjas playing guitars.
607. It's the end of the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine. No exceptions.
608. This number belongs to the world champion of magic the gathering 724 333 6302
609. Refer to rules 243-6.
610. The internet is powered by a powerful entity made out of pineapples and coconuts¡!.... and lulz.
611. Nyan cat rocks. No exceptions.
612. UNHANDLED EXCEPTION:- Cannot retrieve rule 500.
613. If you see a High School Musical remake of Twilight with Rebbecca Black and Justin Bieber, it is officially the end of the world. GO JUMP OFF YOU FUCKING WINDOW RIGHT NOW OR YOU SHALL CORRUPT SOCIETY FOR ALL ETERNITY BECAUSE RULE 34 WILL NO LONGER EXIST. NO EXCEPTIONS!!!!!
614. Anon44 is a giant pervert.
e615. This number must always be preceded by the letter e.
615. This is the real Rule 615, no exceptions.
616. See what I mean? The rules are mostly retarded.
617. The people setting the rules was a very very bad idea.
617.2. TurtaISlayaah is good.
617.3. Goomy is also good.
618. Copy 'n paste is made to ruin every last bit of originality.
620. Elmo, the Teletubbies, and Waluigi get together once a month to splel things wrong.
621. The preevius rule was brawt to yuo by the Elmo, Teletubby, and Waluigi Soceity for Mispelling (ETWMS).
622. George Takei is your uncle. No exceptions.
623. All 1337 h4x0rz are newfags, all real hackers are trolls.
624. /r9k/ is full of feels, faggots and trolls. Deal with it. No exceptions.
625. For more information about the chans, the history of the internet, and the Encyclopedia Dramatica, please see rule 93.
626. Fluttershy is always cute no matter what the context is. I that is okay with you... (Old rule 626 repealed by The Council moved to 640)
628. Cookies are delicious, but don't accept cookies from hackers.
629. Transsexuals are just Traps in disguise.
630. Hermaphrodites can go fuck themselves.
630.2. Hermaphrodites can fuck you too.
631. Any Celebrity/Character can have only One Fangirl/Fanboy/Wife/Husband/Girlfriend/Boyfriend/Mistress/Mister/Sexslave/Lover.
631.2. One person can fill multiple of these roles if not already filled, and they can fill the description.
631.2.2. Girls/Women can NOT be Fanboys/Husbands/Boyfriends/Misters.
631.2.3. Boys/Men can Not be Fangirls/Wives/Girlfriends/Mistresses
631.2.4. Hermaphrodites can fill all roles. See rule 358.5
631.3. All others Must Die. There can be only One.
631.3.1. Jealousy is a Bitch
631.3.2. Fangirls must kill all the other Fangirls.
631.3.3. Fanboys must determine Alpha Male. Alpha Male gets the Prize.
631.3.4. Alpha Male determined by contest of Skills, Unless...
631.3.5. Alpha Male determined by Survival of the Fittest.
631.4. Unless your Local laws allow Polygamy. Then let the Orgy Begin.
632. ☢ Tactical nuke, incoming!!!
633. Derpy Hooves loves you! *Kiss*
634. If you post a picture of a cat on the internet, people will make it a LOLcat. Not one fucking exception.
635. Doge is not a LOLcat.
639. Narf. No exceptions.
640. (Formerly 626) Poit. No exceptions.
641. Zort. No exceptions.
642. rules that end with no exceptions are just conforming to the norm and have no real imagination and shlould gtfo this site. no exeptions
643. The Name of the only Mormon with an understanding of Magnets is named Hillary Corolis. NO FUCKING EXCEPTION
644. Your information has probably already been shared to the NSA.
645. Operation Troll the NSA was Fun. No exceptions.
646. It is official that the amount of faggotry brought by TheJonyMyster is outstanding.
647. Keldeo is a pony.
648. Anything with a sparta remix is automatically awesome. NO EXCEPTIONS! LOL 648 AMIRITE
648.2. See rule 69.5.
649. Everyone loved Pokemon Black and White. No exceptions.
651. Lazah killed rule 650.
652. There is a slash or femslash of it. No exceptions.
653. Theodore Roosevelt > Chuck Norris. NO exceptions.
654. No matter how sad you are, Caramelldansen WILL cheer you up.
655. Expressing in words everything you wish to convey to your peers in a long-winded and verbose manner causes your peers to either gaze at you askance or believe every word of what you said no matter how true or false it may be. Exceptions to this rule are completely absent from the universe altogether.
656. Translated: Saying things verbosely either confuses other people or makes them believe what you said even if it's false. No exceptions.
665. The chakra is not a toy.
666. Idle hands are Anonymous' playthings. No exceptions.
666.666. Humanity is evil. No exceptions.
667. Only Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt can break a Nokia. No exceptions.
668. I am a huge faggot. Please rape my face.
669. Super orgy.
677. Espurr has seen some shit. No exceptions.
696. Anonymous is ALWAYS watching you. Even when you Masturbate ...ESPECIALLY when you Masturbate. No Exceptions.
699. Rule 700 is Rule 93.
701. The rent is always too damn high.
703. TheJonyMyster is cool. You might wanna check his page (and his discussion page).
703.1. The above statement is false.
703.2. In the case that it is actually true, go over there.
703.3. Pootis
703.4. This guy is cooler than TheJonyMyster.
704. Rule 493 is false. Goomyism is the only true religion.
704.2. Goomy pls. No exceptions.
705. spenzah here.
706. No fat chicks.
721. Rule 151.1 is true. More Pokemon came.
753. Backward talk is easy. No exceptions.
753.5. .znoiqe>xe o|/| .yzae ton zi eqyt braw>|>aE|
768. /d/ is serious business. See Rule 36.
769. I just came.
769.2. But if you're wearing white it's okay.
770. If there isn't enough just ask for Moar.
773. It already exists, but yours will be better.
773.1. I lied. Your version sucks major dack.
777. There is no such thing as luck.
777.7. There is no such thing as good luck or bad luck. There is luck and there is no luck. No exceptions.
777.77 Its obviously Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt. No Exceptions.
778. /u/ and /y/ are like /v/, but with more videogames, and less porn.
779. If it is a Linkin Park song, was a Linkin Park song, or will be a Linkin Park song, then there will be an AMV made for it. No exceptions.
780. If it exists, there's pony of it.
781. Don't cross the streams.
800. No matter how much I beg, and plead, and cry, DON'T give that paper back to me. EVER.
825. Hell is in Norway, no exceptions.
826. Purgatory is in New Mexico, no exceptions.
867. Jenny is not home, she will never be home. No Exceptions.
867.2 Thats because shes at my house.
868. Making a Chuck Norris joke instantly turns you into a newfag. No exceptions.
868.2. Whereas making a Theodore Roosevelt is much more badass. No exceptions.
869. More and more 69s.
888. Subtitles are now available. No Exceptions.
889. Anyone who steps out of line spends the night in the box.
894. Saying AFHfuckface is not funny is like saying your mom is not fat. People won't argue with you, but everyone knows you are lieing/dumbfuck
898. This is the rule before Rule 899.
898.2. No, this is.
898.7. No, this is Patrick.
899. No one intentionally sees their first dickgirl. No exceptions.
899.2. You are a newfag if you have never seen a dickgirl. No exceptions.
899.3. If you see enough dickgirls, you become attracted to them and start fapping to them. No exceptions.
899.4. If you see too many dickgirls, you become a dickgirl. No exceptions.
899.5. You are reading.
900. Now you have experienced Rule 899, go back and read it again.
901. Rule 899 was brought to you by the Anonymous Fuck Guys Up The Ass Fund.
902. The AFGUTAF is a registered charity.
903. All rights reserved. No exceptions.
911. 9/11 was always never always never MAYBE never an inside job.
969. A guy's dream.
990. If a post ends in trips, it is veritably true. No exceptions.
999. ˙suoıʇdǝɔxǝ ou ˙ןıɐɟ noʎ 'sıɥʇ puɐʇsɹǝpun ʇ,uop ןןıʇs noʎ ʇǝʎ pɐǝɥ ɹnoʎ dıןɟ oʇ ǝɯıʇ ǝɥʇ ʞooʇ noʎ ɟı
999.9. ?suoi?d??x? ou ??i?? no? 'si?? pu??s??pun ?,uop ??i?s no? ??? p??? ?no? di?? o? ??i? ??? ?oo? no? ?i
999.99. ˙suoᴉʇdǝɔxǝ oN
1000. Joe Is Awesome, No Exceptions.
          H  H
          H  H
          H  H
          H  H

          R   R
          R R
          R  RR
          U   U
          U   U
          U   U
          U   U

           A  A
           A  A
           A  A
           K  K
           K K
           K K
           K  K

           U   U
           U   U
           U   U
           U   U
           P   P

           A  A
           A  A
           A  A
           O   O
           O   O
           O   O

           O   O
           O   O
           O   O

           P   P
           A  A
           A  A
           A  A
1000.00063. You like Minecraft. If you don't, you will once you actually play it.
1000.00064. Until you actually play it. Then you realise that your even more of a fag than someone with the name Chris.
1000.00065. Any variation of the name Chris, including Christopher, Christian, Kris, Keris, or Faggot.
1000.00069. People with the name Bob are gay too.
1000.2. There are too many fucking rules.
1001. Amount of uses for duct tape for now. moar are being discovered!
1002. Oop, another one.
1003. Haruhi Suzumiya is God.
1003.2. Goomy is God.
1004. There is a Haruhi Suzumiya version of it, NO EXCEPTIONS.
1005. If there is not a Haruhi Suzumiya version it doesn't exist in the first place NO EXCEPTIONS.
1006. Everything is a repost. No exceptions.
1006.1. Rule 2000 is the only exception.
˙1006 Your scouter is upside down. No exceptions. (See Rule 9001.)
1007. Ferris Beuler is impossible to spell.
1008. Nicholas is reading this.
1009.1. Turn off caps. I beg of you.
1009.3. SO DO I.
1070. Pootis > Dispensah.
1111. The number for this rule is a sausage fest.
1111.1. The number for this rule is also a sausage fest.
1111.2. You don't get .1's you stupid shit. No exceptions.
1234. Refer to rule 432.
1337. The last thing this should be is a rule. You failed by looking at this, newfag.
pwn. This person tried to be 1337, but he failed epicly.
1338. Better than leet, lpl&x.
1339. lpl&x is the best.
1400. If you don't know what lpl&x is, check the enclosed instruction booklet.
1666. London is never burning. No exceptions.
1701. If this number is familiar, you are too old to lurk on the internet. No exceptions.
1775. This rule is the same as the date the US Deceleration of Independence was singed, no exceptions.
1913. Any person who refers to oneself as a Terror must be punched . . . repeatedly.
1966. ENGLAND clapclapclap ENGLAND clapclapclap
1967. Shut the fuck up. No Exceptions.
1999. Everything is a repost. No exceptions.
2000. Y2K happened. One nuclear device failed. The only man to become a victim of radiation and mutation was turned into a hermaphrodite and named "Lady Gaga".
2001. Oh My God... ★ It's full of stars!★
2010. There is a ponified version of it. No exceptions.
2012. Science doesn’t exist, God doesn’t exist, only Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt exists!
2013. Rule 2012 is a lie. So are the Mayans.
2014. Science just proved that the Mayans couldn't find a bigger rock.
2015. Science killed God. No exceptions.
2016. Science broke a Nokia. No exceptions.
2020. Marble Hornets, Tribe Twelve, EverymanHYBRID, AMPProductionsStudio, TJAProjects, and all other youtube series about Creepy Pasta are real. Probably. No Exceptions.
2029. I'll be back.
2101. War was beginning.
2102. Never go to war against a strong fanbase. Unless you want to raise hell, fuck shit up or create an adventure, be my guest.
2102.:D. I love adventures!
2112. Nobody can sing and play bass at the same time unless you're Geddy Lee. No exceptions.
2185. Still better than Mass Effect 3 ending. No exceptions.
2552. Remember Reach, no exceptions.
2557. Wake up Chief.
2979. It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.
3333. HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn. Available at Walgreens.
3334. Sausages are only eaten by gay men. No Exceptions.
3335. Fred Phelps eats sausages.
3336. Reagan and Darktemplar eat sausages.
3337. TASTE THE RAINBOW. No Exceptions.
3434. The only exception to rule 34 is the citation of rule 34.
4321. This rule was made for homoes.
4322. Homoes were made for rule 4321
4323. Go baby go baby go, don't upset the rhythm though.
5150. Sammy Hagar sucked. No exceptions.
5225. Election years were meant for Congress so they may let their trolls out to feed.
5705. There is no reply. No exceptions.
6152. No matter how good you are in something, there's always an asian kid doing better than you.
7652. Tinker will never be Asian.
7652.2. Owning katanas is fail.
7652.3. Unless you are Samurai Jack.
8999. Sadly not over 9000.
9000. You must be mathematically greater than 9000 to be over 9000.
9001. It's over 9000. No exceptions
9002. It's still over 9000, and always will be!
9004. If you're wondering where 9003 went, refer to rule 405, but think of "rule 9003" instead of "rule 404".
9005. If you have used the Internet you have procrastinated. No Exceptions.
8454930048. There is a secret about this misplaced rule. No exceptions.
9999. Jim did it! no exceptions.
9999.1. If Jim did it, it was actually Laurenz! No exceptions.
10001. The internet is always right, but it's never to be trusted.
1̧͚̳͎̘̍ͫͅ0̯͒ͨͤ̍̊ͣͨ0̰̤̘͎̘̀ͣ̌͌͆02̤͎̩ͩ̔͐ͅ.̧̘̩̣̮̟ ̝̄T̗͉̘͡h̾̆̓ͧ̄ͩ̾é̑̅͆̏̅̊ ̣̻̻̇̌̂̄͞e̓̒͋̍͌ͬ҉̥̙̩͔̥ͅn̳̐͊̈́ͫ̃͌ͅt̺̯͉͉͚̍͛͆i̢̘̊̍̈̋͒͆ͩr̫͚̫̙͖͙̟͊e͉̦͕͙̳͙ͫͬͯ̏͌͗̇ͅ ̞͋r̫͇̥͐͒o̴̜͓̜ͪͥó̭̱̘̖̬͔̞m͔̫͌ͣͩ̄̓͂̚ ̫̞̜̩̳̜̻̑̓ͥi̭̦̤̠̘̽sͩ̋ͨ͊̃͟ ̗͐ͩ̔f̙͖̺̙̮̑́̎̓į̦̭̠ĺlė̠̬ͤͥ̅ͦ̀d͈͕̰̼̻͎̲ ̫̪̞̹̝͌̽́̂̋̍̊͜w̪̫̑ͨ̋͌̑̏̐i̵͛t̗ͬh͖̳̅̐̊͂͑̇͜ ͍̎̇Z͓͔̖̖̗̰̍̿͆̌͜a̫̲̍ͥ̃ḻ̛̫͆ͦg͒o̤͉̪͐.͙͉̦̰̅ͨ
2719hex. Only rules ^, ƒƒƒ, -1, 1/2, 0.96, 1, 2, 3, 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399573105, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 34.2, 34.3, 35, 35.2, 35.3, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47 (partly), 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 54.2, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 62, 63, 63.2, 63.3, 63.4, 63.5, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 71, 73, 77, 78, 81, 82, 85, 88, 89, 91, 93, 96, 100, 101, 103, 104, 111, 112, 116, 117, 118, 120, 122 (partly), 123, 125, 134, 144, 151, 151.1, 153, 154, 157, 159, 160, 166, 168, 170, 180, 186, 198, 199, 199.1, 200, 218, 226, 229, 230, 232, 233, 241, 250, 278, 284 (partly), 292, 294, 306, 311, 317, 325, 326, 328, 331, 332, 337, 340, 342, 349, 355, 356, 360, 367, 368, 377, 379, 380, 384, 387, 388, 389, 390, 404, 406, 422, 423, 426, 428, 501, 533, 555, 571, 704, 704.2, 868, 899, 899.2, 899.3, 899.4, 3434, 6152, 9000, 10001, 12345, 59713, 424242, 899899, 102938475, 362001984, and #, are to be taken seriously.
2719hex.1. The above rule can be ignored; it doesn't have to be taken seriously.
12345. Hbrowse was awesome. No Exceptions.
12346. Everyone mourns the death of Hbrowse. No exceptions.
31337. See Rule 1337, multiply it by 1337.
43645. That's Numberwang. No exceptions.
59713. Do not use the Internet if over 50.
60666. Nobody knows what they are talking about. If they act like they do, they know even less. If they try to back their argument up with numbers, they don't know what the numbers mean. No exceptions.
90000. 9 times ten to the fourth power.
176982. If it is a word, it has a sexual meaning. No exceptions.
324468. Texting this rule number spells faggot. Only ABC is exempt.
324469. Only faggots text in ABC.
424242. Reading online forums may cause irreparable damage to your faith in humanity.
494949. Needs moar Nyo. No exceptions.
494949.49. Needs moar Neo. No exceptions.
496112. If you try to hide a porn window, the pop-ups which remain will be even worse.
500001. Internet Explorer is for newfags and users of it should be dragon punched by Bruce Lee.
528491. Don't miss the kick. Going deeper may trap you in limbo forever. You have been warned.
878787. Fap moar - it's never enough.
899899. Anything - except Milhouse - can be a meme.
899900. Including rule 899.
1234567. Darktemplar87 is gay. No Exceptions.
3756548. Your life depends on this.
3756550. You're floccinaucinihilipilification.
3799999. Rule 3756550 was supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
3800000. Rule #3799999 contracted pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.
3800001. I have Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia.
4000000. All rules with long words are Honorificabilitudinitatibus.
6666666. All infractions are excused, NO EXCEPTIONS
8072007. Rules 1 and 2 apply only to raids.
8675309. Go back to the top of the page, and read all the rules again.
Eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-nine. Jenny will not return your calls, nor will any other girl. No exceptions.
12212012. Gangnam Style did not cause the end of the world. No exceptions.
25794137. See rule %.3.
69696969. See rule 469.
102938475. The Internet has a very cruel sense of humor.
241543903. If you have a head, you must stick it in the freezer at least once. No exceptions.
241543904. It's so... cold.
-241543905. All rules after this line either use letters or special characters as rule numbers, or a single digit. no exceptions.
1234567890. There are ten numbers. No exceptions.
1234567890.2. Hi I'm stupid. NO EXCEPTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111
2147483647. This is the end of the internet. No Exceptions.
2147483648. You've lost the game. No Exceptions.
2147483649. The game has ended and cannot be restarted. Few Exceptions.
9999999999. numbers are annoying. no exceptions
55555555555. Virgins are people who have never had sex. AKA The Internet. No exceptions.
55555555556. THOUGH NO ONE DIES A VIRGIN. LIFE FUCKS UP ALL. No exceptions.
181354931118. /r/spacedicks should only be viewed by 4chan users.
181354931118.2. /r/ChurchOfGoomy should be viewed by everyone.
181354931118.3. Look at /r/random. You're welcome
926535897932. This rule applies to rule 93.
934023783021. OMGWTFBBQ?!?!?!?!?!? NO EXCEPTIONS.
1000000000000. Kung-Fu Jesus can win the game. No Exceptions.
1000000000000.1. Chuck Norris is the only exception. No exceptions.
1000000000000.2. Refer to Rule 59713 to see why neither of the above rules are allowed. No exceptions.
1000000000000.3. Goomy has already won the game :S
1000000000000.4. Theodore Roosevelt won the game too.
3846264338327. Rule 2147483647 is false.
6666666666666. All rules that use shitty grammar and/or who's identification values equate to undefined, infinity, or retardation do not count. No exceptions.
6666666666667. Except for the exceptions, no exceptions.
6666666666668. Except for the exceptions to that. No exceptions.
11123334555677789990. This rule has the numbers 233 and 899 in it.
6501293849635201682301371605287306824087549580566948509750739410237012973058476656567837562181. No one knows the difference between their, there, and they're. No exceptions.
10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000. Google is god. No exceptions.
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999. Logan is a faggot, no exceptions.
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999.2. Jared is a badass, no exceptions.
66666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666. Neither the universe nor the internet have the capacity to hold the all the rules of the internet.
66666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666667. The above rule is the answer to rule 267.
#. There is a dubstep remix of it. No exceptions. Refer to rule 312.
x 0 y0 z 0: If it exists, there's a Minecraft mod for it.
X. This isn't a rule, refer to rule 93.
X09TF. This rule is made from the negative rules that got destroyed by the Lazah.
X095TF. If you don't understand rule X10TF refer to rule 224. no exceptions.
X10.5TF. All of these rules are a lie and don't apply to the internet.
XXX. If you read this far, you're a fag. No exceptions.
XXXX. If you made the rules above, you're a fag. No exceptions.
XXXX½. This rule allows overlooking rules XXXX. and XXXXX.
XXXXX. If you make the rules below, you're a fag. No exceptions.
x 1 y1 z 1. If there's a railroad in it, there will be a trainz map for it. No exceptions.
333. Told you.
333.2. Admit it, you used ctrl+f to find rule 333.
k. How did you get down here?
...02425950695064738395657479136519351798334535362521430035401260267716226721604198106522631693551887803881448314065252616878509555264605107117200099709291249544378887496062882911725063001303622934916080254594614945788714278323508292421020918258967535604308699380168924988926809951016905591995119502788717830837018340236474548882222161573228010132974509273445945043433009010969280253527518332898844615089404248265018193851562535796399618993967905496638003222348723967018485186439059104575627262464195387. No fucking idea.
...02425950695064738395657479136519351798334535362521430035401260267716226721604198106522631693551887803881448314065252616878509555264605107117200099709291249544378887496062882911725063001303622934916080254594614945788714278323508292421020918258967535604308699380168924988926809951016905591995119502788717830837018340236474548882222161573228010132974509273445945043433009010969280253527518332898844615089404248265018193851562535796399618993967905496638003222348723967018485186439059104575627262464195388. Since you're down here... DESU
...02425950695064738395657479136519351798334535362521430035401260267716226721604198106522631693551887803881448314065252616878509555264605107117200099709291249544378887496062882911725063001303622934916080254594614945788714278323508292421020918258967535604308699380168924988926809951016905591995119502788717830837018340236474548882222161573228010132974509273445945043433009010969280253527518332898844615089404248265018193851562535796399618993967905496638003222348723967018485186439059104575627262464195389. No one knows how to type in superscript.
GOOGOLPLEX. See, if I'd just said, "1x10" then "10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000" in superscript, it would have made a lot more sense.
10^GOOGOLPLEX. Bork! No exceptions.
∞. There is no limit to the amount of messed up shit that lurks on the internet.
∞+1. Giggity. No exceptions.
∞+2. As long as there is the internet, fags will invent rules for it.
∞+3. This shall go on forever.
ln(1/0). And ever.
tan 90°. and ever
2/0. Go to rule 93.
∞™. As long as there are rules, fags will continue to break them.
∞.∞. The internet has no limits.
∞.∞.∞ If your download speed is slow, your download is slow. No Exceptions.
B4RN4CL3. He was so ugly that everyone died. No exceptions.
B4RB4R4CL3. He was so ugly that he evolved and slapped everyone's shit sideways. No exceptions.
K4RL. Religion is the opiate of the masses. No exceptions.
M4RX. Except Goomyism. No exceptions.
P0N135. Ponies.
♯. Robin Hood is a fox, no exceptions.
♪. Rule ƻ and ♫ is a lie.
ƻ. If there a movie made by Disney, no exceptions.
ƻ.1. If no Disney movie, it will be made
♫. Hanna-Barbera cartoon is better than Disney Cartoons.
♦. Lets start a new!
♥. Anyone who uses the ♥ is either female or gay, no exceptions.
♣. They are also annoying, no exceptions.
♠. Anyone who uses the ♠ sign is a BOSS.
♠.1. I'm a boss. You're fired.

. SlenderMan is always watching. No exceptions.
☺. Dig on.
☻. Nuke Africa. NO EXCEPTIONS
☻.1. The only exceptions are black men. No exceptions.
♕. cpguy5089 owns all Internet except for goatse.
Þ. Attempting to get more users will result in loads of fun. No Exceptions.
ð. See above.
∞34. At that stage there will be nothing left to make porn of. Then R34 will be dead. No exceptions.
∞-∞. The Rules of the Internet are the most important code of law set by humanity. NO exceptions.
∞x∞. Goomy transcends infinity.
💯. I doubt that my symbol will show up.
💯.1. I knew it!
1. As long as we're trying symbols... Font change!
0⃣. Starting here, no hax will be tolerated.
0⃣.1⃣. I lied!
1⃣. I wonder if Tetris will become cool in two seconds...
@. Blue October has the saddest songs.
a. The best rules are coming.
b. No wait, false alarm, they went over there.
b. How bold of you.
c. Letters are technically numbers.
c.1. No they're not.
c.-2. Rule c.1 is true.
c.3. The use of letters as rules is faggotry, the only exceptions are "a" and "i", no other exceptions.
c.4. oh fuck
c.-5. stop fucking god damn swaring!
c.6. Fuck the police
ch. Spanish will be used.
d. Only funny jokes end with “And I didn't even order a drink yet!”.
dr. The title "Doctor Who" must never be spelled "Dr Who" under any circumstances. Even on a mobile device it must be painstakingly spelled out every single time.
doctor. Don't even THINK about spelling it "Who, MD."
d. Italic rules are imported from Italy.
e. Tell people to refer to rule e.1 or e.2 when you need to.
e.1. Nuh uh!
e.2. Yes huh!
é. Pokémon has an accent mark.
f. I'm probably going to be responsible for writing the rest of the rules.
f.2. Me too.
g. Those who are dead are not dead, they're just living in my head.
g. A bippity boppity! Italians refer to rule 145.
h. Game Paks are cool. No exceptions.
i. Imaginary numbers are not cool, with the exception of imaginary 32.
j. Everyone has a Lazah but you.
k. Please note that all contributions to Rules of the Internet are considered to be released under the Creative Commons Zero (Public Domain) (see Rules of the Internet:Copyrights for details). If you do not want your writing to be edited mercilessly and redistributed at will, then do not submit it here.
k.2. You are also promising us that you wrote this yourself, or copied it from a public domain or similar free resource.
k.3. Do not submit copyrighted work without permission!
l. Fatality is best punchline.
λ. It'll be done when it'll be done. No exceptions.
m. Never write a rule based on what you just saw on TV.
n. These rules are smashing!
-o. The end.
ö. This letter is surprised you read this far.
ő. This Hungarian letter is more surprised than the previous one.
p. PPPPPP is better than all game soundtrack.
p.2. Except for Pokémon.
p.p. Pootis is a color.
q. Somebody better write a letter rule.
q.1. For rule Q, refer to the first rule.
rrrrr. Digital pirates are not real pirates because they don't say "ARRGH!"
rrrrr.2. If they regularly say "ARRGH!" they are real pirates.
rrrrr.3. Only a real pirate would regularly say "ARRGH!"
s. S goes before A, B, and C. No exceptions.
s.1. The only exception is this list of rules.
t. Differentiation is NEVER acceptable. No exceptions whatsoever.
u. Putting "u" instead of "you" is ok in the intertubes.
v. The next rules are valid guidelines for FSTDT.
v.1. Always get irony meter insurance. No exceptions.
v.2. He's not a Poe when you want him to be one. No exceptions.
v.2.e. He IS a Poe when you don't want it, though. No exceptions.
v.3. If you aren't sure about it, rules v.2 and v.2.e don't apply. It's called Schrödinger's Poe paradox.
w. Rule v can be extended to include the entire internets.
x. Xerneas > Yveltal
y. Yveltal > Xerneas
z. Zygarde >>> Yveltal, Xerneas
90210+21. Screw you, and your letter rules.
Ω. The "Omega" Series of rules will always begin with "Ω", followed by the number rule.
Ω.1. Nothing is scarier than Boohbahs. No exceptions.
Ω.2. Don't fuck with Master of the Masters. He'll fuck your shit up.
Ω.3. This Game Board not available
Ω.4. Lynx knows all. (hey len. :D)
OZL. Olenka is cute.
LZLG. Liz is also cute.
SAB. SabreTheMechanic is a bawse.
FZ. F-Chat is bawse.
FZ.2. And so is F-Zero, but probably less.
SUBST. Based on the substitutions thingy, SabreTheMechanic is F-Chat. Also, Olenka is Liz. And Haruhi Suzumiya's son is Brandon.
penis. Canadians are fucking gay. No Exceptions, not even the exceptions are exceptions
8==D~. It must have a penis in order for it to be real. NO EXCEPTIONS! Unless you are Chuck Norris Theodore Roosevelt or AFHfuckface.
≤≥. The above statement is partially false, because Scott Pilgrim is Canadian.
( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º). ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º) ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º) is ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º) than ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º) even if ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º) is ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º) ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º) in ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)
( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º).1. Unless ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º) is ( ͡o ͜ʖ ͡o), which means someone just got fancy.
( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º).2. But ( ͡O ͜ʖ ͡O) makes you look like a fag.

( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º).3. Which is why I didn't type it, but you did.
( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º).4. James B is a fag, no exceptions.
(.)(.) if you squeeze them they will grow
ASDFGHJKLKJHGFDSAqwertyuikljgufdrsedfcgu*%^ei^tud65EDKUTdr9ERILEYGF) There are no robots on the internet.
cake=pi. It is a cybershark, no exceptions.
102828. If you can't see it, it doesn't exist.
102828.1. Unless it is Chuck Norris.
102828.2. That joke is old and I should feel old.
102828.3. Rule 102828.1 is false, Theodore Roosevelt is the answer.
102829. People are cyber dudes.
102829.1. Professor Banzaii is never wrong. No exceptions.
102830. These numbers do not match. No exceptions.
102830.1. If they're Kolechian, deny entry.
102831. No-one will ever read this far.
102831.1. Sure about that?
102832. Rule 102831 is false.
102833. Rule 102831 is both true and false.
ΩΩ. If you've read every rule up to this point, you should really consider either rule 456 or 93.
ΩΩ.2. The rules of the Internet are not meant to read like regular lists. They are meant to be carefully applied to every possible Internet situation.
И. The Ω-series of rules is outdated. Commence the И-series now!
И.1. Anonymous reads all the new rules and edits before they are posted or even made. Yes, that's right.
И.2. I will not buy this Internet, it is scratched.
И.3. The internet is the most cluttered thing you will never be well acquainted with.
И.4. In Soviet Russia, nothing happens because it doesn't exist anymore.
И.5. 99% of visitors to North (Fake) Korea suffer internet withdrawal.
И.6. Speaking Finnish makes you cool. No exceptions.
И.7. Speaking Suomi makes you l33t. No exceptions.
И.8. If you speak Suomen Kieli, bring out the happy snacks! Behold, ladles and jellyspoons, the most 1337 h4x0r in the world!
@. Joshua is a msv fkn fgt
  • . You will play as Stanley.
  • .1. You will not play as Stanley.
%. Never mention the fish that is also the acronym of a certain game. You will be hunted down by at least one hundred and fifty different internet users.
%.2. Never mention the Harry Potter fanfic about Enoby. You will be hunted down by at least one thousand different fanfic authors.
%.3. NEVER ask for Yotsuba rule 34. You will be hunted down and balls-shot by OVER 9000 4channers.
%%. For those of you who are imperceptive, it's C*D.
^". People over fifty cannot comprehend the internet. No exceptions.
^".1. The above rule is not a copy of a previous rule. It is an extension to said rule.
  • ". This rule is false if rule "* is true.
"*. This rule is true if rule *" is false.
¿. Infinity has no limits, but there is a limit to the amount of times you can use it.
¡. Breaking of this rule will automatically turn you into a newfag.
∞ X The Lazah. Albanzchu is the only exception to all rules of the internet. NO EXCEPTIONS. If you apply Albanzchu, an ∞ amout of Lazahs will fire at you.
. Sometimes things bork. Usually, no exceptions (unless there is one).

                  |                (      )|    █████████████████████████████  Y. The rules above me eat my pants.
                  |                (      )|    █████████████████████████████  Z. This is not the last rule.
                  |        ________(______)|    █████████████████████████████  
                  |       |
                  |       |                                                  
                  |       |
                  |       |
           _______|       |______
          |                      |
          |      ____________    |
                 (The Lazah)
⌫. Beware The Lazah!
ß. ...and ever. :3
T. Always/never consult the manual.
T.T. Crying because it's the end of the page? See rule 8675309.
K.K.K. Always hail frogs and screw gods.
. If your going to wink at a girl wink at a guy too, so they wont get jelly.
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